Up to My Eyeballs In It: Lost Lenses
Confessions

Up to My Eyeballs In It: Lost Lenses

By Janelle Harris

If you've ever lost one of your contact lenses, you know there's nothing fun about scrambling around on your hands and knees, staring down tile grout and carpet fibers, trying to spot a tiny transparent little lens. Chances are a) you're already running late or b) you have someone with perfect vision (and a complete lack of empathy) waiting on you.

Of course, the irony is that you actually need the contact to find the contact, because you can't see without it. And sadly, but oh-so-typically, the only discovery you'll probably make on your floor-wide scavenger hunt is this: you're definitely not as good of a housecleaner as your mother had hoped you'd be (Tsk tsk tsk).

If you've ever conducted a one-person search party for a lost contact, it's hard to believe that any good could ever come from something so nerve-wracking. But, get creative, dear readers, and I just bet you can turn a lost lens to your own advantage.

Now, I do feel it's only right to warn you—pulling this little routine may involve a bit of dramatic embellishment and/or flat-out fibbing. Those ophthalmologic masterminds are always thinking, and with the advances they've made in daily wear lenses, it's pretty unlikely one will just leap off of your cornea during a conversation with the cute guy in your spinning class. That's not to say, however, that you can't play pretend.

Men just can't resist coming to the rescue of a vision-impaired damsel in distress. How do I know this? Well! One gorgeous, but pollen-filled afternoon, my allergies were in rare form, and, as I chatted with a gentleman on the platform of an outdoor train station, I had to blink like rapid fire to keep moisture in my itchy eyes. During what must have been one blink too many, my contact lens got a little wanderlust, I guess, and left its usual spot to go and have a look around the rest of my eye. Startled, I stopped, slapped my hand over my face and blurted, "My contact!" just as our train screeched into port.

Thinking my lens had fallen to the ground instead of gone floating somewhere inside of my head, my potential honey bun dropped to his knees and began looking for the AWOL lens—missing his train in the process. Of course, I couldn't let him search alone, and so, praying my contact would stay mysteriously tucked away in whatever corner of my eye it had slid into, I joined him in scanning the crusty train station floor. We laughed, we flirted, we never did find that pesky missing lens. But, we did exchange numbers and had a few fun dates... until his job moved him far away to a magical, allergy-free land where the girls are much more likely to keep their contacts in place. (Boorrrrinnng.)

The lessons here?

1) Always carry a bottle of eye drops during allergy season.

2) Play the missing lens angle to your advantage. Ever since that encounter, I've used the "suddenly lost lens" routine to pull in unsuspecting fellas when it seemed like they were a little slow in noticing my fabulousness.

But I don't limit myself to the occasional bout of man-catching. From time to time, I also use the lens hunting technique to get a better look at my fellow females' shoes and handbags. I'm not above doing a little incognito research if it means my newest companion will be a stylish purse or the latest set of pumps. Hey, you know how it goes: a girl can fall in love with a pair of Manolo Blahniks just as easily as she can be smitten by a man on public transportation.

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OPTI® eSTORIES is a place for eyes, of course - a forum for sharing tips and stories, for offering new vision and perspective, for discussing lifestyle and image, all through the window of our eyes. More than that, though, OPTI® is about celebrating the beauty within all of us, and the way our eyes can be just as unique as we are. Fun and feisty, elegant and soulful. It's all here. It's all OPTI®.

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